


How Many Angels Can Twerk on the Head of a Pin? (Just One)

by Ineffable_Eden



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Not Innocent (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Not Oblivious (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Little Shit (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a femme fatale, Blow Jobs, Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Car Sex, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is So Done (Good Omens), Crowley is Whipped (Good Omens), Dirty Talk, Don't Read This, Erections, Gay Sex, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Gratuitous Smut, Inappropriate Erections, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Oh God Yes, Oh My God, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Sex in the Bentley (Good Omens), Smut, Teasing, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), The Great Plan (Good Omens), The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens), Top Crowley (Good Omens), Twerking, convince me otherwise, you cant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:48:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22346704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffable_Eden/pseuds/Ineffable_Eden
Summary: We know Aziraphale loves to dance the Gavotte. But what about other kinds of dancing?
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 110





	How Many Angels Can Twerk on the Head of a Pin? (Just One)

**Author's Note:**

> I must preface this with a warning. This is absolute trash and never should have been written. Forgive me.

In the days since Armageddon went pear shaped, Crowley and Aziraphale had carried on in much the same way they always had. They spent quite a bit more time together though, given there was no one to hide from now. Crowley had even gone as far to set up automatic plant misters so he could stay with Aziraphale in the bookshop, for days at a time.

On this particular night, Crowley was lounging across the sofa while Aziraphale tended to some tattered manuscript or another. The angel seemed fussy, more fussy than his usual, anyway. His brows were knitted together in quiet consternation, lips pursed in the way they always were when he was thinking too hard. Crowley observed him for a moment, many moments actually. He desperately wanted to kiss those lips, feel their softness, and explore the inside of his angel’s mouth. Aziraphale put his work down and rolled his sleeves up to the elbows. Crowley felt his jaw unhinge and go slack at the sight of the angel’s shapely forearms. _Fucking hell, man. What century are you stuck in? Getting turned on by forearms now? What’s next? ANKLES?_ Crowley quickly rehinged himself and decided it might be best to inquire about the angel’s distress. “What’s bothering you, angel?” Aziraphale again put down his work, leaning back in his chair as he stared at the ceiling. “I’m restless, Crowley.” 

Crowley couldn’t help but thing of all the ways he could cure Aziraphale’s ailment. Most, if not all of them involved nudity of some degree and the angel’s mouth in unspeakable places, doing unspeakable things. _-crack- -jaw unhinged again-_ Crowley’s hand flew up, holding his jaw back in place. He tapped on his cheek, giving the appearance that he was thinking, trying to be helpful. Aziraphale continued on “ I think I might need another hobby. Of course, I won’t abandon my books but I think I just need some...I don’t know..”

“Variety?” Crowley piped in, the word slightly slurred from his predicament. Aziraphale threw his hands out in revelation. “Yes! That’s exactly what I mean. Variety.” Crowley’s eyes travelled to the spot in the shop where he knew a particular book about Kama Sutra resided. 

“ Perhaps...a-um...cooking class? ”

“ I like eating, not so much cooking though. ”

“ Knitting? ”

“ No, I don’t think that will do either. ”

“ What about...dancing?”

Aziraphale’s face lit up at the suggestion. He hadn’t danced in a very long time, not since the Gavotte went out of style. “That’s a marvelous idea, Crowley!” Crowley smiled at him, still holding his chin in hand. He pulled his phone out to search for local studios that offered tradition styles of dance lessons. There was a place on Marshall Street that offered ballroom dancing. He jotted down the details on a piece of paper for Aziraphale. He was finally able to let go of his face, his bones behaving for the moment. “Here you go, angel. Give them a call tomorrow.” Aziraphale walked over and took the slip from him. “Thank you, dear boy. You’re so clever. I’ll go up and get you some blankets so you can get some rest.” The growing tightness in Crowley’s trousers told him it might be best if he went back to his flat tonight. He needed to have a furious wank before he exploded. “Actually, angel. I think I might head home for tonight. I need to check on the plants, can’t have them living too peacefully in my absence.” _Did Aziraphale look disappointed?_ He could have swore he saw a little frown tugging at the angel’s lips. _Those lips..._ He anticipated that his face was about to betray him again and quickly made his way to the door. “See you tomorrow, angel! We’ll get breakfast. Anywhere you like.”

Once he was back at his flat, Crowley turned on the shower. Only scalding hot water would do tonight. He stripped himself down, letting his cock spring free of his tight trousers. It was painfully hard, harder than it had been in a while. He would have to rethink spending so much time around Aziraphale. _The little minx must know what he did to him._ He stepped into the shower, letting the water hit his chest and run down to his groin. _He had to know it. He couldn’t NOT know it. Those breathy little sighs when he said “Crowley, dear”. The moaning when he pulled a spoon from between his lips._ Crowley leaned his forehead against the cool tile, gripping his cock and groaning deeply on that first downstroke. Images of the angel in the shower with him flashed in his mind. How he’d like to look down into those blue eyes as he thrusted into his mouth, the way he’d pin him against the shower wall and drive so deeply into his angel that he’d forget his own name. Crowley pumped faster now, thinking of how the angel would whimper as he stretched him. He held his cock firmly at the base and groaned once more as he released stream after stream of come onto the shower floor. Wasted, he thought, when it could have, should have found a more angelic home. 

_Two weeks later..._

Aziraphale had been attending dance classes nearly every night since Crowley recommended it. One night, he invited Crowley to come sit in on said class, very eager to show off what he’d learned. He gave Crowley the address of the studio, it’s not the one he recommended but at least the angel has found something to cure his restlessness. Although, Crowley still had better methods in mind. Crowley made the drive to the Sojourner Truth Centre where Aziraphale is no doubt, waiting inside to tempt him into self discorporation. He wandered into the building, reading the signs on the doors of various classes. _Pole dancing? Hah. Never in a million years. Yoga? Is the angel bendy enough for that? Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it._ The last door was open, preventing his from seeing the sign. A girl standing in the doorway looked his way and acted if she was expecting him. “Mr. Crowley, I presume? Aziraphale told me to be on the lookout for you. Tall, red haired man in dark sunglasses. Hard to miss. Come on in and take a seat. We’ll be starting soon.” Crowley walked in and took his seat. There were two other men there, presumably on invitation as well. There were a few students buzzing about the studio, making small talk with one another. One made her way over to Crowley, also knowing exactly who he was and began to go on. “Aziraphale has told us all about you! I bet you’re quite excited to see what he’s learned. He’s quite good, too! Who’d have thought a man his age could do something like this.” Crowley was visibly confused. What kind of dancing had the angel taken to learning? He was certain it would be something along the lines of ballroom, jazz, or tap. 

After a few minutes, music began thumping from the speakers and a stream of women made their way from an adjoining room to his left. At the very end of the line was Aziraphale, clad in the shortest, tightest pair of shorts Crowley has ever seen. _What the FUCK._ The angel stood in line with the other dancers and peeked over his shoulder at Crowley, smirking in an almost insufferable way. Crowley was trying to speak, trying to say something, anything. All he could manage was a low stream of mangled words. “Legs-errgh-th-thighs-I-um-NGK.” One of the men next to him patted him on the shoulder in a consoling manner. The beat dropped and so did Aziraphale’s ass, right down into a squat, hands on his knees. _-click-_ Crowley’s jaw betrayed him, yet again. He was sinking down the back of the chair, having lost all control of his muscles as well as his joints. His boots made a squeaking noise against the floor as he sunk, eventually halting him from hitting the ground. Even in his noodle-like state, he continued to watch as Aziraphale thrusted his backside up and down, shimmying as he came to a standing position. He looked over his shoulder to Crowley again as he went back down, “Look, Crowley! This is called ‘throwing it back for a real one’!” Crowley’s mouth was pooling with saliva, saliva he couldn’t even manage to swallow. A few minutes later, the performance was over and Aziraphale was standing over Crowley, snapping his fingers in an attempt to drag him back to reality. He hauled him up under his arms into a proper sitting position. The demon was on another planet, a planet where all the stars resembled a certain angel’s backside. He could hear voices around him but they were very muffled, like they were talking through a nineteenth century telephone that was underwater. After a considerable amount of fanning from the girl who greeted him and Aziraphale discreetly putting his jaw back in place, citing TMJ as the cause, Crowley returned to the land of the living. The girl standing over him with Aziraphale smiled and reassured him that he wasn’t the first to pass out here. Still dizzy but regaining his bearings, he walked with Aziraphale into the cool, night air. _That was IT._ He backed Aziraphale up against the Bentley, leaning in so close their noses touched. “Are you _TRYING_ to kill me?” Aziraphale’s eyes flicked downwards, noting the lack of space between them. “Why, Crowley, whatever do you mean?” He smiled indignantly. Crowley drew a deep, shuddering breath and placed a hand on the top of the Bentley as he pressed their bodies closer. “You know, angel. You have to know..what it is you do to me.” Aziraphale placed his hands on either side of the demon’s slim waist. “Well, even if I _didn’t_ know, that throbbing sensation against my thigh right now would tell me.” Crowley hadn’t even noticed he was hard, but Aziraphale had and it sounded like he was pleased with it. He slapped the top of the Bentley and separated himself from Aziraphale, instructing him to get in the car.

Crowley was racing back towards his flat, this was it, it was finally going to happen. He was going to get to feel his angel from the inside out, finally. Aziraphale reached over, placing his hand on Crowley’s thigh and giving it a squeeze. “You know, all this time, I’ve been waiting for you to make the first move. Six thousand years and I ran out of patience.” He moved his hand further up Crowley’s thigh, squeezing again, this time over the growing bulge in his jeans. Crowley’s head fell back, eyes abandoning the road. Aziraphale repositioned himself and tipped his chin back down. “Mind the road, dear.” Aziraphale began unbuckling Crowley’s belt and drug the zipper down it’s teeth in a painfully slow action. He pulled his cock free and stroked it for a moment, marveling at it’s stunning design. The angel ducked under Crowley’s arms, taking him into his warm, wet mouth. Crowley exhaled a short, ragged breath as he felt Aziraphale’s lips close around him, the Bentley picking up speed, considerably. One hand went down into the angel’s curls, gently coaxing him to take him deeper. Aziraphale took him to the back of his throat, then drew him out again, licking the tip as he did. This continued until they came to a screeching halt in front of Crowley’s flat. Crowley stuffed himself back into his trousers and pulled Aziraphale into the elevator with him. He grabbed the angel’s chin, opening his mouth and closed in on him with what would be their first kiss. He thought of all the times he’d wanted to do this. Eden, the Ark, Rome, the Bastille, the church, 1967, all the days in between. The elevator dinged when they reached their destination. The kept kissing as Crowley unlocked the door. Once inside, they made their way into his bedroom where they fell together into the mess that was Crowley’s unmade bed, clothing shed with a snap of Aziraphale’s fingers. They laid, pressed together, stroking one another slowly. “Oh, angel. You’re so hard for me, aren’t you?” Aziraphale tightened his grip on the demon’s cock. “Nearly as hard as you, my love.” Crowley rolled Aziraphale onto his stomach and climbed on top of him, spreading his legs with his knee. His fingers drifted down the angel’s backside, finding his tight, wanting hole. “Tell me you want it, angel. You have to tell me.” Aziraphale raised his hips slightly. “I want it, Crowley. I’ve always wanted it.” Crowley gently pushed a finger inside Aziraphale, causing him to moan softly into the pillow. He worked the digit deeper inside him, loosening him up for what was to come. After her felt Aziraphale was ready, he flipped him back over and hooked the angel’s knees over his shoulders. “One more time, angel. Tell me.” Aziraphale was panting now, riddled with desperation and desire. “Oh, Crowley. Please. Please. I want it.” Without hesitation, Crowley pushed the tip of his cock inside him. Both of them moaned loudly as six thousand years of wanting dissolved away. Crowley looked down at his angel as he gave him time to adjust. He was so beautiful, so unbelievably beautiful. He thrust forward slightly, driving just a little deeper. Aziraphale sighed as he relished the feeling of Crowley throbbing inside him. Crowley leaned down, kissing him deeply as he picked up his pace, feeling his angel open up for him like a flower. He reached down, gripping the angel’s cock and stroking it in time with his thrusts. Aziraphale moaned into his mouth, feeling that he was near climax. “Come for me, angel. Let me feel it.” Aziraphale shuddered and arched his back as he went over the edge. He felt his come spilling over Crowley’s hand and in the same moment felt the demon coming, a warm sensation filling him deliciously. 

Crowley collapsed on top of him and buried his face in the angel’s shoulder. “Angel, angel, angel...” Aziraphale ran a hand through his fiery hair and kissed his temple. “I love you, Crowley.” He could feel the demon smile against his chest. “I love you too, angel.” They stayed that way for a while, basking in one another’s afterglow. Aziraphale sensed Crowley was drifting off. “Crowley, dear?” Crowley made some sleepy, unintelligible noise in response. “Dear boy, I should like to put my legs down before you fall asleep.”


End file.
